Let’s Talk About Positive Reinforcement
I want to talk with you about affirmations and the impact they can have on your child’s daily living. So, to be honest, I really never understood the power behind starting the day with words of affirmations.
You see, I always felt pretty stupid looking in the mirror and saying positive words to myself. What I thought was even more ridiculous was to talk about myself in the third person.
But I have a different perspective now, no I still don’t talk to myself in the mirror, but I do see the value of affirmations and the importance it can have on my own children.
I realize now that by saying these words of encouragement can change your child’s perspective on how they view themselves.
We have four children, three girls, and one boy. When the two older girls were growing up I really never recall using self affirmations as a positive reinforcement for behavior.
If they were good, I told them I was proud, or good job. When they were bad they were punished and reminded of what they did was wrong.
This is how I was raised and I just assumed this is what you do as a parent. As the term goes, “You don’t know what you don’t know”.
Parenting is so much about trial and error. Most of mine have been on the side of error. I’ve definitely gotten better over the years.
To be honest our older two were defiantly the guinea pigs. The younger two are definitely reaping the benefits of all my mishaps with the older two.
Thank God for all the grace and my children’s forgiveness! The joys of parenting! I wouldn’t trade it for anything and thankful for them every day.
Making A Conscious Impact With Affirmations
Creating affirmations for your children are powerful and such a wonderful way of showing them you care and that you are taking the time to see the positive in them.
You can really turn someone’s day around by speaking some positive words to them.
Do you have a change of thought or attitude when someone speaks or tells you something positive about yourself?
I mean even a nice compliment can pick up my day when things don’t seem to be going well.
The same goes for our children. Not only that they are so impressionable when they are younger.
I feel as though sometimes negative talk can really stick with them and make them believe those words are true.
We as parents really need to be careful with the words when we use referring to ourselves and about others.
Believe me, the children are listening and can pick up on that negative behavior fast.
So this brings me to our younger daughter and the need to change the way I want to raise her. I feel she needs so much more positive reinforcement due to her condition.
She was born with Dandy-Walker and has Hydrocephalus. She is developmentally delayed physically and emotionally. Or in better terms, she processes her emotions and feeling differently.
I’m determined to help her see herself as I see her. I want her to know and truly believe in her heart all the wonderful things that make her so unique.
The beautiful person she is from the inside out.
As she gets older and becomes more independent, I want those words of affirmations to be able to keep her strong and to be a part of her identity.
How Do I Implement Words Of Affirmation To My Child
I can see as she gets older that she doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of self-confidence. She is very shy and quiet.
She also has a lot of anxiety issues and is very unsure about her ability to do things.
I don’t know if this makes a whole lot of sense, but her mind is a 10-year-old girl in a 14-year-old body. But she has the manners of an adult.
She really is a sweet little girl. It is my job as a parent to help her build her confidence and self-esteem.
This isn’t a one and done deal. It takes time to build and I would recommend by starting out with maybe just one positive affirmation a week.
If you do it this way it seems to be less forced and just words you blurt out. I want her heart to feel it so the mind is willing to accept it.
My advice would be to help your child to brainstorm and write those positive words of affirmation out in a journal.
Also, you write positive affirmations about your child in that journal. It’s good to reinforce what you say and put those words on paper.
Your child can read this maybe when they are feeling down. They can use this as a tool for practicing self affirmation.
By doing this you are helping your child build a healthy self-image of themselves.
I believe this will help our children to stand up for themselves if they encounter a negative situation.
If your child has any behavioral issues this is also a good exercise to practice. By doing this you are promoting positive behaviors.
It’s also important that we use these positive words in a teaching moment, and this will also help turn a negative behavior around.
List Of Good Kid Affirmations
Here you will find some ideas to get started. Think about what great characteristics your child has and start from there.
Be specific about the affirmation that makes your child unique and special.
By incorporating affirmations in positive moments will help influence your child’s perspective about themselves.
Using the word “I” lets the child know that you are speaking about them, and when your child gets older you can have them use the word “You” so they referring to themselves.
- I am brave
- I love myself
- All my words have power
- I am honest
- I am happy
- I am smart
- I care about others
- I am proud of who you are
- You make other people smile
- You are creative
- You were born to do great things
- I love listening to you
- I will always believe in you
- I will have a good day
- I am loved
- I am strong
- I can control my emotions
- I can breathe through my anxiety
- I am slow to anger
- I forgive myself
- I forgive others
- I can overcome anything that stands in my way
- I have control over my negative thoughts
- I am beautiful
- I help others
- I am safe
- I am special
- I am kind
- I am positive
- Today will be a great day
- I’m a good friend
- I am a good listener
- I will try my hardest
- You are an amazing person
- I will not put limits on my ability
- My parents love me
- I am calm
- I and your dad can’t imagine life without you
- You are a good problem solver
- You are the light of my life
- My parents are proud of me
- I share
- I stand up for myself
- I’m positive
- I am successful
- I have big dreams
- I respect others opinions
- I can be anything I want
- I am an important person
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Making Affirmations A Daily Habit
This is a habit you won’t mind your child having. These can be some of the most powerful words your kids can hear.
So if you are anything like me, then you may find yourself using affirmations also.
Because as I said earlier, I wasn’t one for using them, but I do now, and I want to lead as an example.
How can we expect our kids to follow through if we can’t be a willing participant?
We need to belive that affirmations can turn your whole self-perspective around.
You don’t need to be teaching this if you don’t believe it yourself.
Some other advice is that you can start the day out by saying one positive affirmation about each member of the family.
It’s important that our children look for the good in people.
They can get good practice by pointing out the positive in their family members.
Look for opportunities to branch out, encourage your child to find positive words about other people that are in your lives.
Make this a positive experience, you will quickly see the changes that it will make in your children’s emotions and self-worth.
If you want some journaling book ideas to write those affirmations in, here are some I recommend.
Here is some other post about other ways you can make an impact in your children’s lives here.
Teaching Tween Girls About Emotions
Building Self Esteem In Your Daughter
Creating Strong Connection Between Parent And Child
Encouraging Children To Not Complain
To wrap this up I really encourage parents to use affirmations as positive reinforcement. Use these for moments for encouragement and to redirect negative behavior.
Have fun with your child, I know that I’m seeing a big difference in our daughter and how she views herself.
She is showing more self-confidence and that makes me a happy parent!
Hope this will give you inspiration and that you will be able to help your own child be a more positive, self-confident, and emotionally healthy child.
Domestic Engineer Mom
Robbin Tate