How do we raise and build confidence in kids these days? Everywhere you turn there is someone mocking, making fun of or shaming them for their choices.
What is even worse is that you can’t seem to have an opinion or be yourself without being ridiculed.
This really can tear down someone’s self-confidence and self-esteem. Kids are so impressionable.
I believe it’s our job as parents to build confidence in our children.
Are you wondering how do I go about doing this? I have some tips and ideas that have worked well for our children.
Being a positive parent in our own lives is important.
First, you really need to be engaged with your children every day. This means paying attention to what they are doing have an interest in what they are talking about.
When you take the time out and be present when your child is showing you something they do take notice.
As I was saying earlier, children like to mimic the adults they are around. This is why being positive in your own life is important.
Children hear and see everything. By being positive with your words you instill trust in your child.
The way you give praise is so important. Be their biggest encourager.
Having Confidence is so important to your child’s self-esteem, outlook on life and also there well being.
Confident children are better at dealing with being frustrated, bulling, pressure from peers, and also dealing with negative emotions.
Not only is teaching your child to be confident it’s also important that they know who they are. Developing a good positive identity also ties in with confidence.
I feel by combining different techniques during different stages of development is the key to build confidence.
By giving you all the options you will be prepared to equip your child with the keys to self-confidence.
How Affirmations Develop And Build Confidence
Affirmations are a way to give your child positive reinforcement. By doing this, you are giving positive encouragement.
Your child will have more sense of who they are. I believe it helps safeguard their mind when met with challenges.
I might have mentioned earlier that we are the biggest role models our children have, so this is why we need to be positive about ourselves.
You build trust and bond with your child when you are genuine with your words. I have a few affirmations that you can use to help build on their confidence.
- You have such a gentle heart
- The hugs you give me makes me so happy
- You are very brave when you did that
- I’m so proud of who you are
- You will always be my hero
- I will always be there for you
- You are beautiful within and on the outside
- I love your creativity
- You are the most handsome person
- I’m so proud to call you my child
- You were born to do great things
- I am so thankful for you every day
- You’re such a quick learner
- Live to be better every day
- You have the best manners
- All your problems have solutions
- You encourage me to be a better person
- You’re enough
- You make a great leader
- You are so amazing
- I love hearing what’s on your mind
- You make me smile
- Thanks for working so hard
- You are such a great kid
As you can see these all are great examples of what positive affirmations are. Obviously, there are a ton more, the possibilities are endless.
Turning Positive Reinforcement Into Confidence
Being a positive parent we make positive kids. But sometimes that can be easier said than done.
I’ve got a few ideas that have helped my own children, even under the most stressed times in my life I’ve been able to be an example to my own kids.
I don’t ever remember growing up and seeing so many parents as busy as we are today. It seems impossible to keep up with work. But it’s important to remember to be present for our own kids.
When I say present it means leaving everything we have going on and laying it down. No phone calls, put the phones down, turn all devices off including TV.
Here are some ways you can make time and connect with your kids. Believe me, they take notice if you really are paying attention.
- Sit down and have dinner together and engage in conversation
- Play a game together
- If they play sports, be totally engaged without a device in your hand
- Exercise together. I actually do this with our youngest two. We go walking several times a week
You want to show your children that they are worth spending time with. This makes them feel important and that in return builds confidence.
I like to look for opportunities when my children are trying to achieve a goal and I see them struggle. When they finally catch a break and have caught on, I take the opportunity to praise them.
I congratulate them for their perseverance.
Making Children Accountable Will Build Confidence
Accountability can be a huge confidence booster. Give children responsibilities, this will mean you trust them with doing a certain task.
This is where I have challenges. When I give my kids a task, and they do it, I have a tendency to go back and do it again.
It honestly didn’t ring my bell that I was undermining what they have done. My actions were telling them they didn’t do it right.
This is a huge issue and a total confidence buster! I didn’t even realize I was hurting my child’s feelings.
Another thing is when we are doing chores together I have a tendency to taking over and doing it my self. This is another kill to their confidence.
From here I really had to apologize for my actions. Now, as hard as it is I have to stand back and let them help the way they can do it.
I have to admit if it’s something like cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming, dusting or even folding the laundry, I at least wait till their asleep to fix or go back over things. I know I have a problem!
The lesson learned here let them be in charge of the responsibilities you give them. This gives them pride and a sense of accomplishment.
Confident With Expressing Feelings
Being over critical or ignoring your child’s feelings underminds their emotions. By doing this you are putting across that their emotions don’t matter.
It’s healthy for children to know that they can express themselves in a safe environment without feeling judged. Parents need to be that safety zone and your home needs to be a safe place.
Probably the worst thing you can say to your child is”what are you crying about. Instead, say “what’s making you so upset and can I help you with something.”
Believe me, I used to say the first one and didn’t realize that it made my kids feel worse and make them feel it was wrong for them to be upset.
As a family, we talk through our feelings when needed and I like to let them know that they can express themselves because our home and me and their dad is a safe place.
We want to be able to shape our child’s life with confidence. This will have an impact on them for their whole life. This will make them a confident adult.
If this feels like a daunting task I suggest just starting with one of the tips I suggested from above. You just need to start and this will be the biggest gift you could ever give to your child.
I do have other post’s on some parenting tips and advice if you would be interested in reading them.
Thank you so much for reading and would love to hear back from you. Leave a comment or sign up to receive any updates on new post.
Domestic Engineer Mom