Are You Being A Good Role Model For Your Kids?
I would like to say that I’m very passionate about teaching my kids to have respect.
We live in a world where respect for human life is fading away.
As I’m sitting here writing this post I have the TV on and a special report broke through about another mass shooting in Texas.
I’m not here to debate if we need stricter gun laws or even if it’s a mental health crisis.
What I am going to say is that people have a lack of respect for human life.
That in itself is a major crisis. We need to be raising a generation of respectful children that in return are respectful adults.
If you think I’m living in a bubble, then you are dead wrong! I know when I was growing up you were taught to be respectful.
There were real consequences if you were not.
Whatever happened to, “If you don’t have something nice to say then don’t say it at all.”
Everybody believes it’s there right to spew negative, disrespectful words and thoughts to whomever they want. With no regard to a person’s feelings.
And this is all playing out in front of impressionable children.
I do believe that sometimes it starts out in the home. If children are constantly exposed to disrespect then they will demonstrate the same behavior.
Why do we feel the need to make remarks to anyone and everyone about their shortcomings?
Why do we feel the need to put others down on every social platform?
I have 2 theories. The first one is:
If you can spew out any negative words towards someone, and then be able to hide behind a screen, you feel there will be no repercussions.
Without having a platform to hide behind then there would be less negative talk towards others.
What I’m saying here is that if you take that platform away and put this exact same situation in a public setting then that person would think twice about those offensive words that they want to say.
There would be repercussions. Probably confrontation, or even better a good punch to the face.
Not that I support a physical altercation but there are times when this basically happens because someone was very inappropriate.
Then the second one would be:
Hurting people hurt others! I know for a fact that this is true because I’ve been guilty of this. But unfortunately, this isn’t an excuse for being disrespectful.
So this brings me to this question, “How Do We Raise Respectful Children In A Disrespectful World?”
We Need To Have Self Respect Before We Can Receive Respect
So if we want to make changes then we need to go to the source. Who are our children’s mentors?
Who do they look up too? How can we as parents make an impact?
Let’s break this down and start out with self-respect. How are you teaching your children to have self-respect?
This all starts in the home.
What gives a child the ability to have self-respect for themselves? Here are some examples I came up with:
- Showing good manners
- Speaking kindly to others
- Having a positive attitude
- No backtalk
- Helping others
- Taking care of their personal items
- Taking good care of other peoples items
- Knowing that life isn’t just about you
When we start teaching children at a young age about the respect we are setting them up to be successful adults. It also builds positivity.
But when we don’t show by example and treat our children with disrespect then we create unhappy kids. Guess what unhappy kids will carry that over into other parts of their lives.
Different Ways On How To Show Respect
So let’s say that you have built the foundation and you can see that your child has a good concept of what self-respect is.
Now it’s time to see the fruits of your labor. Here are some good examples of how your child can demonstrate what you have been reinforcing at home.
- Make sure they know to respect adults ( these would be adults like relatives, teachers and close friends)- This would mean to look them in the eye when being spoken too. No talking back.
- Always be polite. Tell people “thank you” and “please” also “your welcome.”
- Respecting your peers – Don’t help yourself to other peoples property without asking permission first.
- Don’t invade other people’s personal space. Some times people liked to be hugged. always ask first. Remember your body is yours and nobody touches it but you.
- Tolerance equals respect- Teaching kids everybody is different and acceptance is a part of life. No matter the color, race or disability.
What To Do If It All Goes Up In Flames!
I honestly have to admit that this area isn’t my expertise. I actually have a good bunch of kids with some good manners and show others respect.
This doesn’t mean that a couple of them didn’t try me as teens but overall they are good respectful kids.
But I do know what disrespect looks like along with defiance. So I want to list some ideas for you.
This might help you divert their actions and get your child back on track.
Your children don’t learn what you teach them, they learn what you show them.
So this brings me to ask once again, “Do you show your children support and respect?”
You need to ask your self if you are being a hypocrite to your children. Are you automatically wanting your kids to show you respect?
When in return you are barking orders and raising your voice for various reasons.
Don’t get me wrong, I do have to raise my voice when the time is needed, but it does happen very seldom.
If your child has done something disrespectful it really will defeat the purpose if you punish them.
First, your child will always connect the punishment to what the disrespectful thing they have done and won’t really learn from this.
What you need to do is by asking the child why they did the disrespectful thing, make sure they know what they did was not suitable and give them the solution to rectify it
You can do this in a firmer voice so they know you disapprove but still love them and show them the solution.
This is also called Positive Parenting and I have a post on this very subject.
And I’ll say this again because I feel this is the most important thing for us as parents need to grasp.
We have to be a positive role model for our children.
If they see us disrespect they might demonstrate the same action.
As always if you find that you have shown disrespect then you need to admit to your kids that you were wrong.
We are human and we make mistakes and our kids to know this.
Well, I really hope this gives you some direction on teaching respect to your child.
If you liked this post please share. I would also love to hear from you. Drop me a comment and I will get back to you.
I also have some other post that teaches more important life skills for kids.
Have A Great Day!
Domestic Engineer Mom