Teaching Tween Girls About Emotions

Tween Girls Rollercoaster Of Emotions

Do you know any tween girls or maybe you have one? More than likely you do, or you probably wouldn’t be reading this post.

Or maybe you are trying to get prepared for those tween years that are ahead of you.

We have 3 girls, 2 of them being young, grown women now. Our youngest daughter has special needs and is a late bloomer, so she’s still in those tween girl years.

So I’m definitely talking from experience here. All 3 were absolutely different in ages when I noticed those mood changes were coming our way.

When they are babies, and even up until maybe around 9, I found it easier to figure out what they needed or wanted. Beyond that, it can become a guessing game of what is going on.

Unfortunately, girls are maturing faster than ever, I’m not totally convinced that it’s just one thing that contributes to this. I do believe it comes from several factors. teaching tween girls

I know as a mom and once upon a time I  was a tween girl. Seems like that was forever ago, I’m sure my kids think that when I talk to them about certain subjects.

Sometimes my feelings and emotions can be all over the place. As adults, we tend to forget that and we expect our children to know how to express their feelings.

We tell them to stop acting that way, we punish them for expressing their feelings instead of realizing they need to be shown how.

Just think, we’ve had so much more practice at this than are daughters have. So give her some slack if she seems to be on that roller coaster of emotions.

They need to know that it’s normal and that they can have control over their feelings.

The most important part is that we find a healthy solution, and a creative outlet for tween girls to express themselves. Their bodies are going through so many changes during this time.

I do have another post on Teaching Girls About Personal Hygiene and also covers the basics of puberty. I’ll link here for you to pin personal hygieneand save to read for later.

Teaching Tween Girls To Embrace There Emotions

So she recognizes that her feelings are up and down. Feelings of happiness and joy can suddenly turn to sadness and tears. That’s ok, we need to teach her to embrace those emotions.

Preparing your tween daughter about what kind of feelings they might feel at some point in the near future is key. How to deal with each feeling is a major component for her to learn how to accept her uniqueness.

Having gone through the tween girl stages already with our first two daughters, I knew I needed a new plan of action for our third daughter.

She has special needs and processes her emotions and feelings definitely. I knew I really liked using the Body Books For Girls to teach her about personal hygiene and some basics about puberty.

My plan was to find another book similar layout and language to the ones we already had. Of course, they had the books I was looking for.

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The book is called The Feelings Book and discusses how to care for your emotions and how to process their feelings. It also has a companion journal so they can write things out.

So basically this was going to be my plan of action and I really felt it would fit her needs well. I know a lot of parents would probably start using this book at an earlier age, probably around 9.

But you gotta remember that Gabrielle’s chronological age doesn’t match her maturity in age. We started implementing this book around 12 years of age.

We are still using it to keep those solutions refreshed.

Getting Tween Girls To Talk About Feelings

So, if you decide to use the books, or just use the advice I’m giving, I believe it’s important to remember we want our tween daughters to open up to us.

We want to create a safe place where they can share their feelings and be able to trust us. These books help as a guide to be able to approach them in the proper ways for them to understand.

The feelings book helps them sort out those feelings, and teachers to navigate each emotion they may face or are facing.

You may want to read through to make sure your tween girl is ready for all the content. Or you also may want to just go through it together. It will make for some good bonding time.

Gabrielle and I went to the book store together and bought the books. I particularly remember that day because I and her speech therapist were talking that morning and she was really having a hard time expressing her emotions and feelings.

tween girl

I assumed it was coming from anxiety but her therapist also thought we needed to maybe pull in other resources. She loves to read and this was an opportunity for me to show her that I wanted to help her and that I understood her frustrations.

I’m not saying that this imaginary fog lifted and she always comes to me about hows she’s feeling but it has built that foundation for us. If it’s not me she turns to at least I know she knows how to express her feelings with the people she trusts.

There have been several occasions she will share her feelings with her therapist before me and I’m very grateful for her to have those outlets.

So if you have a special needs daughter or just a typical learning tween girl you want to be able to give them the tools to succeed.

This is just one of those life skills as parents that we can teach our girls to help them to grow into becoming confident young women.

Strategies For Girls To Implement

What will your plan of action be? What will be the strategies you will help teach your tween girl?

I guess my strategy was for Gabrielle to be able to facilitate her own emotions and feelings and to know it was normal to feel:

  • Anxious
  • Sad
  • Happy
  • Disappointed
  • Jealous
  • Afraid
  • Embarrassed
  •  Feeling lonely

This is just to name a few, but I wanted her to learn how to recognize and be able to strategize and apply what she has read.

There can be so many outside sources that can feed into our tween daughters minds. This can also make them even more vulnerable to listen to that voice in the mind that can be so negative to our tween girls thoughts.

That inner voice that makes us sad and makes our imagination run with those negative thoughts.

This is another reason why I liked how this book was designed. It is set up so that they can write those thoughts down and put action to those thoughts. This will help her find a solution.

Since you have covered the books together, she may feel more open to coming to you for help, if needed.

There is also a companion journaling book that goes along with the feelings book.

Well, I really hope this was some useful advice. Please take this prime opportunity to bond with your tween daughter. Those years pass by so fast and you can’t get those moments back.

I would love to hear back from you. You can email me at robbin@domesticengineermom.com or leave me a comment in the comments section.

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Thank You!

Robbin

Domestic Engineer Mom

 

 

 

 

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